Love which ends in Marriage – is it Haraam?????
I have selected to post on this Topic because i see Lots of Muslim youth’s have fallen in “Love” before marriage when they are adviced ,we often get this reply
“Love haraam ah? Our love is not Haram love?!! But our love is “pure” and “innocent”! Forbidden relationships mean fornication before marriage! But my relationship with him never crossed the limits..“
so here in this post i have compiled Hadiths and explanation of Islamic scholars On this Topic ,This post is a sincere advice for our Muslim brothers and sisters because Quran states:
“You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah . ” [3:110]
And people tagged in this pic ,share it with your friends inshaa allah !!!
We ask Allaah to protect us from all evils. Praise be to Allaah,
Firstly,It is not permissible for a woman/man to form a relationship with opposite sex who is a stranger (non-mahram), even if his/her intention is to get married, because Allaah has forbidden being alone with a non-mahram member of the opposite sex, or shaking hands with non-mahram or looking at non-mahram, except in the case of necessity such as proposing marriage or giving testimony. Also staying in touch on Facebook or other social media even for the sake of Marriage is not Halal.
Even if both are willing to marry each other. It is also forbidden for a woman to uncover her ‘awrah in front of non-mahram men, or to go out among them wearing perfume or to speak softly to men. These prohibitions are known from the evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and no exceptions are made for one who wants to get married or even for one who is actually proposing marriage, because a fiancé is still a non-mahram and a stranger to the woman until the marriage contract is done.
1.) The reports that indicate that it is haraam to be alone with a non-mahram woman even with his/her fiancé The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a woman.”
Al-Bukhaari (3006) and Muslim (1341)
And The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the third one present is the Shaytaan.”
2.)The evidence that indicates that it is haraam for a man to look at a woman includes the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said: “I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.”
3.) The evidence that it is haraam to shake hands with a non-mahram woman
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani,classed as saheeh
The sin in this case is on both the man and the woman.
4.) The evidence that it is haraam for a woman to flaunt herself and show her adornment before non-mahram men
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen. People with whips like the tails of cattle with which they beat the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, going astray and leading others astray, with their heads looking like the humps of bakht camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance may be detected from such and such a distance.”
5.)The evidence that it is haraam for a woman to go out wearing perfume so that non-mahram men can smell its fragrance
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes among the people so that they can smell its fragrance is an adulteress.”
Nararted by al-Nasaa’i (5126), Abu Dawood (4173) and al-Tirmidhi (2786)
6 .)The evidence that it is haraam to speak softly to men is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
If this applies to the pure Mothers of the Believers, then it applies even more so to other women.
Note that correspondence and contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation).
The relationship that develops between a man and a non-mahram woman, which people call “love” is a combination of haraam things that transgress shar’i and moral limits.
No wise person will doubt that this relationship is haraam, because it involves a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, looking at her, touching her, kissing, and speaking words filled with love and admiration, which provokes desire.
Studies have shown that most of the marriages that are based on prior love between a man and woman fail, whereas most marriages that are not based on haraam relationships, which people call “traditional marriages”, succeed.
In a field study done by a French sociologist, the conclusion was:
Marriage is more likely to succeed when the two parties did not fall in love before marriage.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible.
If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847)
Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”
But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.
Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.
So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later.
The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate.
Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.
With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)
But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)
The one whose marriage is based on this haraam foundation must hasten to repent and seek forgiveness and seek a righteous life that is based on faith, piety and righteous deeds.
May Allaah keep us and you safe from all evil and help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.